Homesick Is Where the Heart Is

“Homesick” by definition of the dictionary means “experiencing a longing for one's home during a period of absence from it.” This can apply to anything, anywhere, or anyone. Because home has such a vast meaning, homesickness does not simply apply to longing for your house where you grew up. It can also apply to family, friends, and things that you would never expect to miss. For example, your favorite booth at your local Mexican restaurant, or that blanket that has been keeping you warm on long winter nights for years. No matter where or what, almost everyone has experienced this longing for home at least once in their life. From my seven months here, I have become all too familiar with this term. Everyone is warned before exchange that there will be a rough patch where you can’t help but miss home. This tends to happen around the holidays when we’re used to being with our family at home. The exchange students in my home district in Alaska learned about it in a presentation that involved pool noodles and audience participation. We were each called up to hold a pool noodle in the shape of a roller coaster that would represent our feelings throughout our year abroad. At the beginning, which they described as the honeymoon stage, the pool noodles were held up in the air representing happiness because the first few weeks are more of a vacation than an exchange. As the months go by, the noodles dipped lower and lower until in December, they almost touched the floor in a deep dip. This was where we were told would be the hardest part of our exchanges because we would be missing home. The rest of the year steadily goes back up while we enjoy the remaining last half of exchange, and then a small final dip when we realize we have to go home again. I was sceptical at first of this presentation but now that I’ve been here through the holidays and have made it through the so called hardest part of exchange, I understand completely and agree with everything that they showed us. In late December, and early January, I did indeed experience my own levels of homesickness. The longing for home started not with my family, but for my dog, Jenna. Despite my host families both owning dogs, it just wasn't the same as having a dog that I can call my own. Once Christmas officially started, that was when I started to realize that I was also missing my family, along with my dog. The traditions that have been upheld since before I could remember were still happening, I just wasn’t apart of them this year. Don’t get me wrong, I had a blast learning about the exciting ways that Sweden celebrated their own holiday, but a small part of me was always missing the ways it was in Alaska. Christmas was definitely a weird time, filled with so much love, excitement, and holiday cheer, but with a little bit of homesickness accompanying the season. Sort of like a mug of glögg (mulled wine, non-alcoholic of course) it was sweet and satisfying, but with a very faint, bitter after taste. To get an idea of the things I missed most, I compiled a small list on my phone. Not too surprisingly, most of the items are food, and almost all of them are material items that I could live without happily. The very first thing on my list is actually peanut butter. Yes, Sweden has peanut butter, but not in the same capacity as the US. When I first told my friends about peanut butter cookies, PB&J sandwiches, and all the other things containing peanut butter that we find normal in the US, they stared at me in shock (and disgust) and asked if I was joking. Along with peanut butter was typical Tex-Mex. I have yet to find a good Mexican restaurant, and although I love Swedish taco nights, there is a very big difference between Swedish tacos and Mexican-American tacos. I would actually say that tacos were one of the most confusing things that I encountered when I first arrived. Instead of tortillas stuffed with meat, cheese, pico de gallo, and all things spicy, I found that Swedes preferred their tacos to include cucumbers, bell peppers, and corn to name just a few things. I’ve learned to love this variation of taco, but I can definitely say that I’ve experienced some cravings for Tex-Mex tacos. A few other things on my list of food items I’ve missed include American cinnamon rolls, corn bread, and anything pumpkin flavored. I’m not so utterly shallow that the only things I miss from my life at home are foods, but those are a majority of the things that come to mind. When homesick, it’s really hard to look on the bright side of things and be able to push away the annoying complaints gnawing away at you. When my homesickness was at its worst, the things that were simply a little bit weird before, for example, Swedish tacos, suddenly became aggravating. When it got to the point that even tacos annoyed me, I knew it was time to talk to the other exchange students and see how they were doing. Most others were feeling the exact same way and through some in-depth conversations about home, and how little time we had left in this wonderful country, I realized how dumb I was being and made a vow to only think about the great things happening in my life and really learn to appreciate them. Without the support of my friends here in Sweden, it would have seemed impossible for me to get through my homesickness, but when you talk to others going through the exact same thing, life suddenly become easier. This kick in the butt really changed my perspective about the rest of my year in Sweden. I have people supporting me, and it’s my job to be a support person to them as well, so I should be happy while doing it. I feel like I can officially say that my homesickness is completely gone now, besides the occasional craving for peanut butter. In those cases I can go buy something sweet and treat myself, which puts the notion behind me. I’m actually glad that I got to feel what it was really like to miss home because now I can appreciate it that much more. Feeling homesick is one of the most natural feelings a human can experience and in no way is it something to be embarrassed about. Next time I find myself on an adventure away from home, I know I will be prepared to handle whatever feelings come my way with a new sense of determination and hope because I now know, being homesick can be fixed, with the help of family, friends, and maybe even some food.

Words of the week

Friends-Vänner Family- Familj Dog- Hund

Cultural note- In Sweden, Fridays are a big deal, not just because of the onset of the weekend, but because of the special meal many families and friends share on these nights. Tacos. Taco Fredag is such a big thing throughout Sweden that many supermarkets have dedicated sections just for that specific meal. In these areas you can find taco meat seasoning, taco sauce, tortilla shells and more. I’ve gotten so used to taco fredag that I’m actually a little disappointed when we have something other than it for dinner on Fridays.